good news?

I got to see me Dr Doodlebop for my chemo today. A little good news? Maybe, he told me that my last chemo will be Nov. 20th. What? I said! I thought I had a long way to go yet! I thought I had 6 cycles to go after they changed my drugs, like two cycles ago. He said that I was just having a total of 6 cycles. Seems a bit too good to be true. I had counted that I'd be in treatment till the end of January. I still haven't had a full dose during one treatment since I switched last month. When we were done with the doc, i went back to the waiting room and counted out all the cycles on my calendar, I counted that I'm starting my 5th cycle on the 20th- so I'm not going to make any plans quite yet. Still expecting the phone call where they call and say "oh, sorry, we miscounted. You'll be here for a long, long time yet." So I had my treatment and mom and I went out to Grandma's because my uncle was visiting from Seattle.
I thought that phone call I was expecting had come when I had missed 2 calls from the Cancer Center. When another random cell phone called me, I answered, it was my doc- just telling me to increase some of my pills. Still haven't figured out that this might not be right yet!

I had chemo again on Friday, talk about a damper for Halloween weekend! I'm pretty exhausted and tummy is sensitive. I put out my halloween lights on Friday just in time for Saturday trick-or-treating, which I slept on the couch for. Too tired to hand out candy this year!
I had to see the doctor that I preferred not to on Friday. I had him look at my ear because it's driving me crazy! I can't hear anything out of it and I can hear fluid rolling around in there when I move my head. He said my ear isn't plugged but it doesn't look right so I should go see my family doc who will probably send me to an ENT specialist- or I'll just wait until my cold is gone to see if it goes away.

My eyes are down here!

I had a meeting today with a lady who stared at my bald spot/ thinning hair the entire time. I'm not sure how many people who are not on my floor at work are aware of my situation- either way, stop staring! Yes, I'm aware but I'd like to stay in denial a bit longer, thank you!
It seems to have stopped falling out in the past week, so I'm at an awkward in between stage where I have plenty of good hair 'round back, but not a lot going on upstairs....what to do?

Sponsored by the American Cancer Society...

That's me! Apparently that's their big ad campaign, bringing my 30th Birthday yesterday! That's a lot of pressure, because 6 months ago, I surely didn't think I'd be turning 30 looking forward to getting a good 11 hours sleep!
Given what I was feeling up to doing, I had a great birthday! I got to work (which I haven't been working Mondays following treatment) and found that my fabulous coworkers had decorated my hallway and my office! It was one giant party all day long! Everyone was stopping in to say hello, followed by an awesome cheesecake dessert after lunch with the girls in my department.
After work, my family came over- Finn sang Happy Birthday to me, it was one of the highlights of the day, too cute! We ordered dinner in and had a little cake, followed by a little couch time and early turn-in to bed...perfect!

Much better

This week's chemo was much better than the previous week's. I had quite a bit of nausea last week that did me in! I lost 8 pounds because I didn't eat for about 5 days, even the smell of things made me want to barf. I was carrying around a bottle of air freshener to control my gag reflex! Now, trying some stronger nausea pills to overcome some of that- they're crazy expensive (about $125 a per pill) but it costs me much more than that to miss work.
Had a busy weekend, took the boys out to ride some train thing in Kingsley- Finn loved it. Then went to Travis and Leslie's baby shower, followed by a quick trip home to get dressed to meet Janna for dinner. So yes! Things were much better this week on the different pills!
I was pretty wiped out on Saturday night by the time I got home, but it felt awesome to make plans and follow thorough on them! Sunday I hung out at home and slept most of the day.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

So it's officially Breast Cancer Awareness Month! I suppose it's a good thing to make people aware of the issues, risks and what to look for. It's also a great excuse to have your aunt make you pink colored kringla cookies for all your pals at the Cancer Center! Thanks Kath!
I heard some commercials on the radio last night that kinda honked me off though- the "i'm not gonna cry because I have cancer, cancer won't beat me!" song and dance. I think that if you don't cry because you have cancer, there is something seriously wrong with you! Hell, I cry nearly everday and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! Makes me more thankful for what I have and when I feel good. Kind of puts things into perspective when you're actually sick! :)
I had a bit of a rough weekend, felt sick to my stomach- still kind of do. I made it to Finn's birthday party on Saturday! Yay- I'll always get out of bed for a cupcake loaded in frosting!
My liver enzymes were too high on Friday to get my entire dose of chemo since it's processed through the liver, so I now have to go back this Friday to get the other half of my dose. Boo! It's birthday weekend! What's worse than turning 30? Turning 30 and having chemo! :) BTW I'm using a lot of smiley faces because I'm not really bitter- i just like to point out the irony in most everything, because R U FN KIDDING ME? with all this cancer business in the first place? :) --another one...
I stayed home from work on Monday and part of Tuesday, I was completely exhausted and couldn't eat anything. I had to go in for a blood draw on Monday and ended up leaving before I saw the nurse becuase I thought I was gonna barf right there in the waiting room, so it was a keep your mouth closed, don't talk to anyone or puke will literally come out, kinda exit!

Cookies for everyone!

So, Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month everyone! Sad there needs to be a month devoted to this, but might as well make the most of it!
My Aunt Kathy made some kringla and colored them pink (so they look like little pink ribbons) for me to take to chemo tomorrow. I'm sure I'll make some new friends tomorrow!
I've made arrangements to plan in case I'm not able to make it to work on Monday- I learned my lesson last time! I wasn't prepared to not make it in, I guess I had been really lucky and feeling good so I had a full day scheduled. I couldn't even think to try to tell someone what to do to help me out. I had a full day of interviews scheduled, thankfully I work with a great team of people who are able to step up and do the interviews and carry on for me, as long as they have some direction. So, planning ahead!
I'm nervous because I'm getting a full dose of the cytoxin tomorrow, which I haven't had yet- I hope I'm not sick! I have big plans this weekend! Baby Finn turns 3! I can't believe it! But I have his party on Saturday and I really want to get out my Halloween decorations out! I love Halloween! Also, if I can get a little time for work fit in, that would help me out a lot for the coming week. See? Big plans!
My hair is sparse, to be kind. My part is about 3 inches wide and I see scalp as far as the eye can see. Janna is coming over on Sunday and I think we're going to mow it all off, but not without a few awesome pictures first! Stay posted, I hope to have the cajones to go through with it, but its definitely time, I am losing a head of hair (for most people) everyday and its very messy, falling out in bed, at work, in the shower...
Oh, BTW, I sent hate mail to TV Guide this week. I was looking online to see where the scarves that Izzy on Grays Anatomy wore last week and found an article about Izzy not wearing the scarves in future episodes because she's now wearing a wig. Anyway, in the article they printed, it made jokes about Izzy being a Pirate- are you serious? Who would say that about a cancer patient, let alone a popular TV station and magazine!! I was super PO'd and sent them hate mail. It made me feel better! :)