I'm a little embarassed it's been nearly 2 months since I've written anything! My millions of fans are asking for more! :)
A lot has happened, I last wrote. I started radiation on 2/28. I do that everyday at 8 am. It takes about 15 minutes from start to finish (assuming they aren't already behind schedule). So it's more of a hassel than anything. Just this week I started getting a rash and showing some burns on my skin. I woke up with it Wednesday morning and it's driving me crazy! It itches pretty bad if something brushes against it, otherwise not too bad. Good news is I'll be done with radiation on June 1. Normally they would have made me wait for a month after my last chemo before starting radiation because the drugs are still in my system and they make me 'extra sensitized" to burn and rash but I pleaded them to let me start early. Amanda's wedding is 6-19 and i really don't want any burn marks yet by then!
I have to see the doctor every Monday, he told me this past week that he thougth I'd be a really red and burned already by that time, and luckily I wasn't even the slightest bit pink, so I was pretty happy.
Other good news, my hair is starting to grow back! Just in the last week, it seems to be sprouting up all over the place! I can still see my scalp, so won't be going without a hat for a while, but I'm glad it's started! I was a bit nervous when it first started growing and it was only in patches, I thought I could be bald the rest of my life.
I did have an ultrasound on the swelling that I still have on my left side mid-April. It showed nothing other than fluid- so that's good news! The swelling I still had in December is what showed that the cancer was back, so that was exceptionally good news to confirm that there was no cancer left!
Other big things...We had Amanda's bachelorette party last weekend. That was nuts! I got a wig to wear out, that itself was pretty scarey. I was horribly afraid I would have too many drinks and take it off somewhere inappropriate! Well, I did have too many drinks but the wig didn't come off :) Until later in the hotel, and everyone tried it on, but none of us remembered that. Penguin had the pictures on her phone to prove it- otherwise, wouldn't have a clue. Good times! Too old to be doing this :)
I'm also going to start seeing a nutritionist because I totally broke down bawling at my appt on Friday. I've been busting my ass on the elliptical, doing weight watchers and otherwise starving myself...I lost 2 pounds by Monday when I weighed in, when I went on Friday, I had GAINED 3 pounds! My doctor said all the weight I gained would "melt off"...well, it's not and I'm totally freaking out about it. It was probably the Coney Island I had Friday for lunch, but aside from that, it's very stressing! I had to buy a whole new wardrobe this winter because none of my clothes fit me, now- come spring and summer-again, none of my clothes fit me and I need to buy a whole nother set of clothes for summer! I really used to enjoy shopping, but not so much anymore. The gowns that I wear for radiation are ginormous, the arm holes itself I can fit my body through, and they wrap around me twice...I really wish I could wear one of these all day, everyday. We'll see how that goes.
Still looking forward to running the Cancer Center's 5K in September!
Friday morning I saw a lady that my mom knows who was there for her treatment. She was so excited for me that I'll be done with radiation June 1st. She has had I think she said 26 rounds of chemo since Christmas and no end in sight. I started to feel guilty and didn't know what to say to her. She's already had more chemo than I did in 1 year, just in 6 months and she has no idea when she will be done. She said she knows someone else who had the same kind of lung cancer (for all the smokers in the house) who has been getting chemo for years and will never be done. buh.... couldn't imagine that
Debbie Downer signing out!

Last One! Cross your fingers!

Today was my last day of Chemo! Although, I decided I would not be ringing that bell this time, I think it jinxed me last time. It was just two weeks later I found out the cancer had indeed...returned. I have been quite swelled up on the left side this week and last week, I thought it was all the ham I ate for Easter but it's not going away. :) When Dr. DB was feeling it he said he didn't think it was cancer, and I was quick to remind him that no one thought it was cancer last time either, and look at me now! So I have an ultrasound on Wednesday next week to see what it is, Dr thinks its just some extra fluid that needs to be sucked out.
There was no one else in the chemo room with me today, I totally fell asleep and I think my mom did too since she got to sit in one of the comphy chairs since there was no one else there.
I'll have blood draws every week to monitor my blood counts for a month or so, and I should be seeing the radiologist in the next couple weeks. Doc said I can start my radiation in 2 weeks since I've done reasonably well through the entire series of chemo. No barfing and blood counts have stayed high enough that I didn't need any neulasta shots or transfusions or anything.

On another note...we registered Theresa's Troops for the Susan G Komen walk on May 6th. Go to this link to register to walk with our team! https://secure.info-komen.org/site/TRR/1215885226
We can not wear any of the pink shirts we had made, they are reserving the color pink for only survivors to wear that day. So we may need to order a batch of black ones for those that want them, they are $10 ea.

And yet another note. I just want to publicly say THANKS! to anyone from work who may be reading this. Everyone has been so supportive throughout the last year, especially this final push! They wore their theresa's tshirts every Thursday before I had chemo and had several gatherings (mainly involving food) to wish me well. I got fresh baked cookies on more than one occasion, and had lots of my coworkers picking up the slack with my being gone so much. There was also a lot of things that didn't get done, becuase there's only so many hours in a day- and for those on the other end of that, thanks for putting up with me! The girls in my department played a huge part in helping prepare and publicize for the fundraisers. I am so fortunate to have such great friends to keep me going, because you were the ones who had to listen to me everyday, and you're the ones that kept me going!

Set back

So yesterday while I was laying around, not being at work, I thought I should call my plastic surgeon and get things scheduled! I talked to the nurse and explained where I was in my chemo and she asked me a few questions and said she was scheduling a surgery day for that doctor on April 13th but she just wanted to talk to the doctor real quick to make sure I was good to go and be scheduled.
The nurse called me back at 5 pm and said we're a "no go" on the surgery any time soon. She said his notes were very vague as to what procedure I was going to have, which he said was because I didn't really know at the time- but had taken his advice for what he thought would look best, and have the best overall outcome.
Now, the plan is that after I finish chemo AND radiation- 3 months after that...I can get my tissue expanders put in. I was crushed, I think I bawled most of the night. I'm anxious to get my life back and at least appear somewhat normal. Nothing like walking through a store and seeing the eyes go from your face to your blank chest- no exaggeration either. So tentatively we are looking at end of summer/ early fall to start the process.
I had another follow up with my regular sugeon today. I got the OK to quit doing PT! I try, I really did but it really sucks! It's more so inconvenient than anything and more appointments outside of work which is the real issue. I do have a blast with her and I'll miss our chats, but I'm starting to think that's not the point of PT. :)

Round 3!

Only one more! Mom and I went to eat afterwards, as we always do! And then did a little shopping. I'm hoping to plant a garden or patio veggies this summer so we were looking at plants and soil, organic of course! Also hoping to plant some flowers and stuff in front of the house that looks horrible right now, and has since we moved in. The shrubs are overgrown, partially dead, and just disgusting! I hope to pull them all out and plant new stuff out there, we'lll see. I have a lot of energy in my mind, but my body-not so much.
I bought a new juicer! Yay so I can drink my veggies! I'm super excited to use it, I bought a bunch of veggies and fruit from Whole Foods last weekend so that's the plan for tomorrow- maybe it will get me out of this chemo funk.
As soon as we got home, I crashed on the couch for about a half hour until my mom left. She had some stuff she had to do tonight apparently and I haven't been getting sick, so hopefully it doesn't start tonight.
Way past my bedtime!

So much to update!

I ended up staying home Monday following my last treatment, by Sunday I could hardly get out of bed! I was just wiped out. That was kind of a shitty week, Tuesday I noticed my collar was filling up with hair, by the handfulls. I was pulling it off my shirt by the handfulls. By Thursday the hair on my head like wasn't even attached. Kim offered to comb it out for me and just get rid of all the stuff that was not attached. As she combed I could hear her start crying, so I did too. It left me with a giant bald spot on the back of my head. I told her to just keep going- it wasn't going to stay, so why prolong it? I feel like I just got the hair cleaned up from last summer when it thinned out!
So Friday was the first day I had to wear a hat to work. That kinda sucked but I went in super early and parked in the back parking lot to avoid as many people as possible. I stayed in my office most of the day, but had to eventually start facing people! I had a Scentsy party that night at my friend Tiffney's house, that worked out perfectly so I didn't go home for the weekend and feel sorry for myself.
Saturday Janna and I took an impromptu trip to Omaha looking for a recliner to get ready for my next surgery! YAY! I'll be back to sleeping in the recliner and the one that I got from my Grandma before my last surgery, I have completely broken, pulled, sprung springs and warped it so the feet don't even go down anylonger. It had had it's fair usage before it got to me, and it just so happened she was getting a new one so I was able to take this one from her just in time for my recovery at home. I ended up sleeping in it for about 5 weeks once I got home.
This next surgery I'm told is going to be a doozie. They cut through the chest muscles to place the spacer bags behind the muscles in my chest. Then, over a few weeks they fill them with saline until they are as big as I want them. My mother and I are in debates on how big they should be :) I kinda liked the boobs I had before, cancer and all aside, they were a nice size so I'd like to return back to that size-which according to my plastic surgeon was quite large, who knew? When he gave me the implants to hold in my hand they were crazy huge, but a lot of it gets displaced back under the armpit and around my chest area, they won't all just sit in a mound on top of each other.
So, back to the story- Janna and I went to Omaha looking for a chair and other things as part of my retail therapy :) We had a blast! I was feeling awesome and it was enough to keep me motivated at work all week-because that pretty much sucked. I was exhausted yet after sleeping at least 10 hours each night and drinking the wheatgrass and all.
Finn stayed overnight with me on Wednesday. It gave me an excuse to go to bed at 8 pm with him. We had a good time! When he was in the bathroom I went in my room to find a warmer hat because I am freezing all the time now and Finn said "Theresa, where did your hair go?" Oh my gosh it about broke my heart! So I told him that it fell out for a little while, but it will grow back soon. But then he asked me why it all fell out, so I told him I was sick and had to take some medicine that made my hair fall out, but it will make me not sick anymore. I don't know what to say to the kid! Come on Chris and Amy! :) I didn't want to scare him but I didn't want to lie to him. He wanted to touch my head so I let him, he just smiled- what a doll! He asked about it again in the morning when I was getting ready for work, so I told him the same thing again. Then Amy came to pick him up and he started crying and threw a little fit- I think he thought it was Saturday and he was going to hang out with me all day- instead he had to go to the Dr and then to daycare, boooooo!
Thurs, March 25 the greatest band in the world, STP came to Sioux City. So Penguin came down for that and we met up with Toni and Oto, and Chris and his entourage from work and college. Pretty amazing! So awesome, apparently they don't do Make A Wish for adults, or I would have been all over that! Backstage? Better yet, take me with you! Permanently, I'd make a great groupie!

2nd round

I got my second dose of Adria Friday. Saw a doctor I normally don't- who was very impressed that I still have all my hair! He said "is that your hair?" I was like, yeah- this isn't what I'd chose if it wasn't! He said maybe, just maybe I'll be in the 0.01% of those who don't lose their hair! I figure, hey- I'm already half done, if it doesn't fall out this week-I'd feel safe betting that I won't lose it. It took months for it to thin out when I started my first chemo regimin. It was two months in (6 treatments) before I noticed thinning. I know this is the "mammajamma" of chemo meds, but I'm not puking like they said I would! Maybe I'm an anamolly in that regards too, not just the bad stuff!

I'm feeling very tired- its unexplainable. This is the best I've felt in two days and updating my blog isn't the most energetic thing in the world. I haven't yet decided yet if
I'll make it in to work tomorrow. Hard to tell how I'll be feeling by then.

I did receive my wheatgrass juicer! Yay! Now I'll start mass producing it and shoving it on everyone I know! I actually think I might be ready to up my daily dose, seems the one ounce per day isn't cutting it anymore. These are the pictures from the first (and only) tray I grew in January.

Fundraiser

I was incredibly nervous leading up to this, I thought it would be embarassing and awkward, but it wasn't at all. I got to see friends and family who came from near and far and only gave way to a few tears!
There was another wave of donated items for raffle, amazing stuff! And the lucky winner of the weekend trip to Storm Lake water park was Jeff Crick- I have an idea who will be using those passes! :) Jolee, who was so sweet and donated all the popcorn at the trivia night out of her own money!
I ended up spending the night in Moville as well as the rest of the weekend, but by the end of Friday night, I was spent.
I can't say Thank you enough to Janna, her family, all the raffle donors and those who were able to make it to the soup dinner, it was amazing and touching!