A lady at work gave me a card about a month ago that said "Each day of your recovery deserves a trophy". Today I could have used that trophy. Nothing happened, nothing didn't happen, I'm just ready to have my own life back!
Chemo on Friday was normal as usual. Saturday morning woke up feeling ok but knew if I didn't get my butt to the store to get groceries, I would be ordering out all weekend because I wouldn't work up the energy to go. That's the last thing I need now that I'm sporting an extra 20+lbs in the last month. While I was at the store I saw one of the doctors from the clinic, I texted my mom and told her that I approached him and asked him why I'm on this chemo.- (not really but thought it would give my mom a good laugh). I did a lot of errand running on Saturday morning and was completely out of breath and sweating like a fiend! Came home and relaxed before heading to a movie with Janna.
It was great to do something fun! I miss hanging out with my friends and I miss talking about real stuff other than Cancer, which Janna is probably the best comedic relief ever! Nothing like a little public "toot" to take your mind off things! :) Gotta love it! However, I gotta admit, I was in bed by 9:15
Sunday I felt ambitious and made a list of "to do's" for the day but sadly, didn't get any of it accomplished. I made an apple pie! Sounded good, our oven is horrible so it's pretty brown after just 20 minutes, but the effort was there! Got my laundry finished and cleaned up my mess and that makes it a good day!
Saturday night while eating dinner with Janna I noticed that I couldn't taste things quite normally. Thought it was just bland food, but still sticking today. That's hard for me because that's the best part about eating! I've tried several things, hoping it goes away, but I guess that's normal. The chemo eats at your tastebuds and sluffs them off as it does your hair. I'm probably gonna gain a lot more weight if I keep shoving everything in my mouth the way I have been in the past couple days!
Speaking of hair, I have some serious growth, lots of grays peeking out of the part of my hair, which is becoming more sparse everyday. I'd love to color it but "they say" not to as it just causes additional damage to the hair I have left and could cause it to fall out more. At this point, I think that a growth line and some grays are better than the alternative! We'll see how long that continues, I might break down and just color it!
My mom has been fashioning me some headscarves out of a pattern and some fabric I picked out. Yesterday she sent me a picture of herself wearing one of them to show me how it turned out. I don't know if there would ever be an easy circumstance to see your mom wearing a head scarf- that was hard, even for a split second to see that. Instant panic- Ativan, take me away!
Back to today, I'm feeling tired and worn out, in a shakey kind of way. I came home for lunch and Toni was here- I was feeling really crappy but I know she's having a hard time seeing me all "cancerish" so I try to tough it out when she's around.
Tonight I'm just enjoying some quiet time and relaxing. Every muscle in my body is sore, manditory massages should be part of Chemo!