I'm really trying to keep a positive outlook on things however, I try and try to forget this cancer business and it sneaks up where I'm least expecting it! I've been using work as a bit of an "outlet" since I love my job and I sure have enough to keep me busy there 60 hours each week. Working just 4 days most weeks, I tend to stay late and work if I have nothing else going on and I'm feeling up to it physically.
Today I interviewed someone who was in my master's program at school. Since it's all online, we've never actually met-however we have worked on projects over the last three years. I honestly don't know if I would have recognized her name if I hadn't seen her education credentials on her resume. I didn't realize this until 5 minutes before I was to meet her in the lobby, so I was instantly fearful that she would recognize my name from our classes together. I didn't want her to ask me anything about the program, as she completed her classes this summer, where I am not due to the unknowns of my treatment. I don't want to do it half-assesd and I'm in no rush since I have a fantastic job where I'm doing real HR work. When she mentioned that she finished her MAHR, my throat closed and I don't think I even looked at her while she spoke. It felt like that one sentence she said lasted 5 minutes because I was so fearful she would ask me if I'd completed the program as well, and why I did not. Thankfully, she didn't ask and I didn't volunteer any information on who I was.
Another man that I work with was in my office the other day telling me that his wife is a retired oncology nurse- we were talking about another co-worker who has had another recent bout with cancer. Again, the fear and questioning if I should tell him of my situation, in casual conversation. I don't know if he knows, he's never told me that he knows as most people haven't- but word travels fast and I think everyone I work with truely cares about my situation but I hate telling people. Makes me nervous because I'm not ok with crying at work and once I get started...:)
This too shall pass... :)