I felt ok, been better but considering...I was feeling ok. I had horrible heart burn for 2 days- I wonder if it was from the toxic chemicals racing through all my veins. I layed around all morning until Janna asked if I was still up for some BWW. I thought it would give me something to think about to get me through the day, little steps. She always lifts my spirits, it's hard to feel bad around her, because she's so damn funny!
The thought of being awake for at least the next 7 hours brought on a little panic itself. It seemed impossible! My head was fuzzy, my hands were shaking and I couldn't think or speak in complete sentences. I worked for about 4 hours and went to meet Janna. Becky came too!
It felt awesome to see them but I was dragging. I needed to see my friends!
I still hadn't returned any phone calls yet. Just too tired, didn't want to talk to anyone. When I got home Steph was there, I just walked in my room and layed down for a minute. I couldnt' do anything but cry! It was sheer exhaustion, unexplainable. My mind couldn't process any thoughts except for reminding me how horrible I felt. The exhaustion was the hardest part to deal with, but cause you think it's something you can get over. Everyone gets tired, you deal with it and get moving! But this is different, it's sitting on the couch and needing to take the pills that are right in front of you on the coffee table and you just can't get them.
I couldn't stop crying. I loved seeing my pals but it was very real that my life was on hold. Steph encouraged me that I needed this to see my friends and keep that part of my life as close to normal as I can!
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