The next morning, I woke up feeling reasonably good. Mom was here and planning on going to work herself. I didn't feel one bit nautious. I thought about going to work for a few hours later that day. I showered and started thinking about going in to work and felt instant panic. I thought about all the people who knew why I wasn't at work yesterday and knew of my situation and all the incessant questions I was going to get. When a person is sick, it doesn't give anyone permission to ask personal questions. It doesn't give you permission to tell me to "really feel the sadness and pain" until I cry at work, it's not ok to ask me personal questions about my medical history. Just because I have cancer doesn't mean it gives everyone the right to prod and pry!
Anywho...I started freaking out when getting dressed and talked to my mom about it. I knew once I walked in the building it was all I would be talking about all day with dozens of people.
When I got there, I kept quiet, though everyone was surprised to see me. My boss and soon to be boss stopped in my office and asked how I was feeling- I said that I was feeling ok but I needed to get my mind off it-choking back the tears. They saw it and immediately left my office. Awkward! I worked for about 2 hours and went home...pretty much humiliated.
Mom called later that day and I told her I was home, she was asking lots of questions if I was sick, I said that I wasn't but I couldn't think straight, I was shaking, I was sweating incessantly and I just didn't want to be there. I just slept the rest of the day.
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