Set back

So yesterday while I was laying around, not being at work, I thought I should call my plastic surgeon and get things scheduled! I talked to the nurse and explained where I was in my chemo and she asked me a few questions and said she was scheduling a surgery day for that doctor on April 13th but she just wanted to talk to the doctor real quick to make sure I was good to go and be scheduled.
The nurse called me back at 5 pm and said we're a "no go" on the surgery any time soon. She said his notes were very vague as to what procedure I was going to have, which he said was because I didn't really know at the time- but had taken his advice for what he thought would look best, and have the best overall outcome.
Now, the plan is that after I finish chemo AND radiation- 3 months after that...I can get my tissue expanders put in. I was crushed, I think I bawled most of the night. I'm anxious to get my life back and at least appear somewhat normal. Nothing like walking through a store and seeing the eyes go from your face to your blank chest- no exaggeration either. So tentatively we are looking at end of summer/ early fall to start the process.
I had another follow up with my regular sugeon today. I got the OK to quit doing PT! I try, I really did but it really sucks! It's more so inconvenient than anything and more appointments outside of work which is the real issue. I do have a blast with her and I'll miss our chats, but I'm starting to think that's not the point of PT. :)

Round 3!

Only one more! Mom and I went to eat afterwards, as we always do! And then did a little shopping. I'm hoping to plant a garden or patio veggies this summer so we were looking at plants and soil, organic of course! Also hoping to plant some flowers and stuff in front of the house that looks horrible right now, and has since we moved in. The shrubs are overgrown, partially dead, and just disgusting! I hope to pull them all out and plant new stuff out there, we'lll see. I have a lot of energy in my mind, but my body-not so much.
I bought a new juicer! Yay so I can drink my veggies! I'm super excited to use it, I bought a bunch of veggies and fruit from Whole Foods last weekend so that's the plan for tomorrow- maybe it will get me out of this chemo funk.
As soon as we got home, I crashed on the couch for about a half hour until my mom left. She had some stuff she had to do tonight apparently and I haven't been getting sick, so hopefully it doesn't start tonight.
Way past my bedtime!

So much to update!

I ended up staying home Monday following my last treatment, by Sunday I could hardly get out of bed! I was just wiped out. That was kind of a shitty week, Tuesday I noticed my collar was filling up with hair, by the handfulls. I was pulling it off my shirt by the handfulls. By Thursday the hair on my head like wasn't even attached. Kim offered to comb it out for me and just get rid of all the stuff that was not attached. As she combed I could hear her start crying, so I did too. It left me with a giant bald spot on the back of my head. I told her to just keep going- it wasn't going to stay, so why prolong it? I feel like I just got the hair cleaned up from last summer when it thinned out!
So Friday was the first day I had to wear a hat to work. That kinda sucked but I went in super early and parked in the back parking lot to avoid as many people as possible. I stayed in my office most of the day, but had to eventually start facing people! I had a Scentsy party that night at my friend Tiffney's house, that worked out perfectly so I didn't go home for the weekend and feel sorry for myself.
Saturday Janna and I took an impromptu trip to Omaha looking for a recliner to get ready for my next surgery! YAY! I'll be back to sleeping in the recliner and the one that I got from my Grandma before my last surgery, I have completely broken, pulled, sprung springs and warped it so the feet don't even go down anylonger. It had had it's fair usage before it got to me, and it just so happened she was getting a new one so I was able to take this one from her just in time for my recovery at home. I ended up sleeping in it for about 5 weeks once I got home.
This next surgery I'm told is going to be a doozie. They cut through the chest muscles to place the spacer bags behind the muscles in my chest. Then, over a few weeks they fill them with saline until they are as big as I want them. My mother and I are in debates on how big they should be :) I kinda liked the boobs I had before, cancer and all aside, they were a nice size so I'd like to return back to that size-which according to my plastic surgeon was quite large, who knew? When he gave me the implants to hold in my hand they were crazy huge, but a lot of it gets displaced back under the armpit and around my chest area, they won't all just sit in a mound on top of each other.
So, back to the story- Janna and I went to Omaha looking for a chair and other things as part of my retail therapy :) We had a blast! I was feeling awesome and it was enough to keep me motivated at work all week-because that pretty much sucked. I was exhausted yet after sleeping at least 10 hours each night and drinking the wheatgrass and all.
Finn stayed overnight with me on Wednesday. It gave me an excuse to go to bed at 8 pm with him. We had a good time! When he was in the bathroom I went in my room to find a warmer hat because I am freezing all the time now and Finn said "Theresa, where did your hair go?" Oh my gosh it about broke my heart! So I told him that it fell out for a little while, but it will grow back soon. But then he asked me why it all fell out, so I told him I was sick and had to take some medicine that made my hair fall out, but it will make me not sick anymore. I don't know what to say to the kid! Come on Chris and Amy! :) I didn't want to scare him but I didn't want to lie to him. He wanted to touch my head so I let him, he just smiled- what a doll! He asked about it again in the morning when I was getting ready for work, so I told him the same thing again. Then Amy came to pick him up and he started crying and threw a little fit- I think he thought it was Saturday and he was going to hang out with me all day- instead he had to go to the Dr and then to daycare, boooooo!
Thurs, March 25 the greatest band in the world, STP came to Sioux City. So Penguin came down for that and we met up with Toni and Oto, and Chris and his entourage from work and college. Pretty amazing! So awesome, apparently they don't do Make A Wish for adults, or I would have been all over that! Backstage? Better yet, take me with you! Permanently, I'd make a great groupie!

2nd round

I got my second dose of Adria Friday. Saw a doctor I normally don't- who was very impressed that I still have all my hair! He said "is that your hair?" I was like, yeah- this isn't what I'd chose if it wasn't! He said maybe, just maybe I'll be in the 0.01% of those who don't lose their hair! I figure, hey- I'm already half done, if it doesn't fall out this week-I'd feel safe betting that I won't lose it. It took months for it to thin out when I started my first chemo regimin. It was two months in (6 treatments) before I noticed thinning. I know this is the "mammajamma" of chemo meds, but I'm not puking like they said I would! Maybe I'm an anamolly in that regards too, not just the bad stuff!

I'm feeling very tired- its unexplainable. This is the best I've felt in two days and updating my blog isn't the most energetic thing in the world. I haven't yet decided yet if
I'll make it in to work tomorrow. Hard to tell how I'll be feeling by then.

I did receive my wheatgrass juicer! Yay! Now I'll start mass producing it and shoving it on everyone I know! I actually think I might be ready to up my daily dose, seems the one ounce per day isn't cutting it anymore. These are the pictures from the first (and only) tray I grew in January.

Fundraiser

I was incredibly nervous leading up to this, I thought it would be embarassing and awkward, but it wasn't at all. I got to see friends and family who came from near and far and only gave way to a few tears!
There was another wave of donated items for raffle, amazing stuff! And the lucky winner of the weekend trip to Storm Lake water park was Jeff Crick- I have an idea who will be using those passes! :) Jolee, who was so sweet and donated all the popcorn at the trivia night out of her own money!
I ended up spending the night in Moville as well as the rest of the weekend, but by the end of Friday night, I was spent.
I can't say Thank you enough to Janna, her family, all the raffle donors and those who were able to make it to the soup dinner, it was amazing and touching!