Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My mom had been staying with me since Tuesday since I'm a little off my rocker and had a lot of appointments to get to. Wednesday I met with my oncologist who is very optimistic that this is not cancer until it is confirmed by the lab tests, but given my high risk status and the recommendation of the radiologist, he still recommended the mastectomy. The risk is much greater to not take the boob and have it be cancer than to take the boob and it turn out to be cancer. He had a lot of questions for the radiologist who read the MRI, and tried to reach her, but she was on vacation so he was unable to contact her.
He also suggested just the rotten side, but I told him I want to do both and be done with it.
I don't know if I have to do chemo again, won't know until after the surgery. Doc said there's one other drug that he would recommend but it's a nasty one, by all accounts on my research. Not looking forward to that.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Blaah!

On Monday 12-28 I still hadn't gottten the results of my MRI back from the previous week, so I called my surgeon's office to ask about it. The nurse said she didn't have them back yet, but there was a note in the computer that my doc wanted to see me today or tomorrow. I said today would work best since tomorrow am I was scheduled to go get my tattoos to start radiation. So she squeezed me in that afternoon- I questioned if I should even come if they don't have the results back yet and she said she was going to call the Omaha hospital right now and get it.
My phone was dying becuase I was rockin out all morning to music on my phone but I tried several times to get a hold fo my mom to let her know. She was off work for the week, I didn't expect her to drive all the way over to SC for the appt as I didn't suspect anything serious, but I didn't want her to not come because she didn't know- so I made sure I left a couple messages so she would be informed.
When the doc came in the room as I sat there still in my coat because I was pretty sure I was going to be walking out in a few minutes, he started the small talk and whatnot. Then asks where my mom is because she's never missed an appt. I told him we've had a lot of alone time lately so I figured she was screening my calls, "consider yourself informed" I said on her voicemail.
So then he lays it on me, Yah, I have cancer. Same spot, but bigger. Isn't that the point of chemo? I couldn't even cry because I don't think I believed it. I know he talked a lot but I think I must have blacked out at that point because I really dont' remember a lot of what he said. He recommended a mastectomy as continuing with "breast conservation" (ie. lumpectomy) was not an option- there were several areas that were "of concern". I was like, are you sure it's cancer? He said there was no way to know for sure until it's taken out- he offered to have another biopsy done on these areas but considering the high risk I already have for reoccurance his recommendation was to slice it off. He also suggested this because when we first started talking surgery on my first lumpectomy, I was on the fence if I should just do a mastectomy and be done with it all. Even if I did the biopsy, the parts that they test could be negative, although there is still cancer all around it in several spots. I don't remember a lot- I think he said he was taking out 4 more lymphnodes for study. I told him I couldn't even cry because I was just pissed off!
I agreed to do the mastectomy and we got it scheduled. About a minute after he left the room, my mom's friend Kay, who works in the office, walked in and I just started balling! I told her it was cancer, I thought maybe my doc went and got her since he was concerned that I was there alone and he knows our relationship with Kay as we stop in to talk to her at each appointment.
He sent me to hospital for an ultrasound on my leg since it was ginormous again- and since my phone was dead, Kay called my mom and told her I was on my way to the hospital but to drive carefully and I'd meet her there- not mentioning anything about the cancer.
As soon as I left the office, I called Kim on what little cell phone battery I had left- she didn't answer. So I remembered Chris was off that day- called him to pick me up at my house and take me to the hospital- I've never left the hospital after having a blood clot checked out, so I figured I should get my car home first if possible. I told him my news on the phone and said I'd meet him at my house.
When I got home Kim was home but I couldn't even say it...Chris came a few minutes later and I was a mess! Kim was wanting to know what was going on so I told Chris to tell her. I medicated myself to calm down a bit and Chris just hugged me as I did the "why me?" routine.
We got to the hospital and mom was just getting there. I wanted to tell her right away because I knew it was written all over my face. I walked into the lobby and told her to follow me back outside and she did. I told her and her face was just blank for a while- I was starting to wonder if she heard me...but she did.
Blood Clot apparently is an old one and no one really cared so I got to go home.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Wheatgrass

In nearly every article I've read about cancer in the past 7 months, I've found several people raving about the benefits of wheatgrass! I've been drinking it everyday for about 5 days now and I've already noticed my energy level has increased dramatically. Today I scooped snow for about 2 hours, did some shopping and have been cleaning like crazy once I got home. I decided no matter how bad it tastes, I'm going to drink it if it makes me feel better, which so far it has. I'm expecting my at-home growing kit on 12/30. I'll keep you posted. For those interested, check this out!

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT WHEATGRASS JUICE?
1.Wheatgrass juice is 70% chlorophyll.
2.Chlorophyll is the first product of light and contains more light energy than any other element.
3.Wheatgrass juice is a crude chlorophyll and can be taken orally and as a colon implant without toxic side effects.
4.Chlorophyll is the basis of all plant life.
5.Wheatgrass is high in oxygen like all green plants that contain chlorophyll. The brain and all body tissues function at an optimal level in a highly oxygenated environment.
6.Chlorophyll is anti-bacterial and can be used inside and outside the body as a healer.
7.Renowned nutritionist Dr. Bernard Jensen says that it only takes minutes to digest wheatgrass juice and it uses up very little body energy.
8.Science has proven that chlorophyll arrests growth and development of harmful bacteria.
9.Chlorophyll (wheatgrass) rebuilds the bloodstream. Studies of various animals have shown chlorophyll to be free of any toxic reaction. The red cell count was returned to normal with four to five days of the administration of chlorophyll, even in those animals that were known to be extremely anemic or low in red cell count.
10.Farmers in the American midwest who have sterile cows and bulls put them on wheatgrass to restore fertility. (The high magnesium content in chlorophyll builds enzymes that restore the sex hormones.)
11.Chlorophyll can be extracted from many plants, but wheatgrass is superior because it has been found to have over 100 elements needed by man. If grown in organic soil, it absorbs 92 of the known 102 minerals from the soil.
12.Wheatgrass has what is called the "grass juice factor," which has been shown to keep herbivorous animals alive indefinitely.
13.Dr. Ann Wigmore helped people get well from chronic disorders for 30 years using wheatgrass.
14.Liquid chlorophyll gets into the tissues, refines them, and rebuilds and rejuvenates them.
15.Wheatgrass juice is a superior detoxification agent compared to carrot juice and other fruits and vegetables. Dr. Earp Thomas, an associate of the late Ann Wigmore, says that 15 pounds of wheatgrass is the equivalent of 350 pounds of carrots, lettuce, celery, and so on.
16.Liquid chlorophyll washes drug deposits from the body.
17.Chlorophyll neutralizes toxins in the body.
18. Chlorophyll helps purify the liver.
19. Chlorophyll improves blood sugar problems.
20.Wheatgrass juice cures acne and even removes scars after it has been ingested for seven to eight months. The diet must be improved at the same time.
21.In the 1940 American Journal of Surgery, Benjamin Cruskin, MD recommended chlorophyll to: clear up foul-smelling odors, neutralize strep infections, heal wounds, hasten skin grafting, cure chronic sinusitis, overcome chronic inner-ear inflammation and infections, reduce varicose veins and heal leg ulcers, eliminate impetigo and other scabby eruptions, heal rectal sores, successfully treat inflammation of the uterine cervix, get rid of parasitic vaginal infections, reduce typhoid fever, and cure advanced pyorrhea in many cases.
22. Wheatgrass juice acts as a detergent in the body and is used as a body deodorant.
23.A small amount of wheatgrass juice in the human diet prevents tooth decay.
24.Wheatgrass juice held in the mouth for 5 minutes will eliminate toothaches and poisons from gums.
25.Gargle with wheatgrass juice for a sore throat.
26. For pyorrhea of the mouth, lay pulp of wheatgrass soaked in juice on diseased area in mouth or chew wheatgrass. Spit outthe pulp.
27.Drink wheatgrass juice for skin problems such as eczema or psoriasis.
28.Wheatgrass juice keeps the hair from graying.
29.By taking wheatgrass juice, one may feel a difference in strength, endurance, health, and spirituality and experience a sense of well-being.
30.Wheatgrass juice improves the digestion.
31. It is great for blood disorders of all kinds.
32. Wheatgrass juice is high in enzymes.
33.Wheatgrass juice is an excellent skin cleanser and can be absorbed through the skin for nutrition. Pour green juice over your body in a tub of warm water and soak for 15 to 20 minutes. Rinse off with cool water.
34.Wheatgrass implants (enemas) are great for healing and detoxifying the colon walls. The implants also heal and cleanse the internal organs. After an enema, wait 20 minutes, then implant 4-ounces of wheatgrass juice. Retain or 20 minutes.
35. Wheatgrass juice is great for constipation and keeping the bowels open. It is high in magnesium.
36.Dr. Max Bircher, a research scientist, inventor of muesli, and founder of the famed Bircher-Benner Clinic in Zurich, Switzerland, called chlorophyll "concentrated sun power." He said, "Chlorophyll increases the function of the heart, affects the vascular system, the intestines, the uterus, and the lungs.... It is therefore a tonic which, considering its stimulating properties, cannot be compared with any other. "
37.According to Dr. Bircher, nature uses chlorophyll (wheatgrass) as a body cleanser, rebuilder, and neutralizer of toxins.
38.Wheatgrass juice can dissolve the scars that are formed in the lungs from breathing acid gasses. The effect of carbon monoxide is minimized since chlorophyll increases hemoglobin production.
39. Wheatgrass juice reduces high blood pressure as it enhances the capillaries.
40. Wheatgrass juice can remove heavy metals from the body.

http://www.hippocratesinst.org/Wheatgrass/Benefits-of-Wheatgrass.aspx

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

MRI

Today Mom and I took a trip to Omaha to Creighton for another MRI. Apparently no one in Sioux City knows how to read boob MRI's, I'm told.
I totally forgot about the IV part of the MRI. They are doing some remodeling so my test was in a semi truck :) I can only use one arm for needle sticks, blood pressure and such because I've had lymphnodes removed. Of course, the lady was having problems finding a good vein to start the IV. She said that chemo ruins the veins, which is why she had no problem starting it last time, other than a little slip of the finger and blood on the floor, very minor compared to today's. First stick to the top of the hand instantly started swelling. Didn't realize it had blown a vein until they slid me into the machine and started the dye going in and it was burning, burning, burning so she ended up taking out the IV.
Second stick to the crotch of the arm, in the "prepunched holes" she called them-where the scars are from my weekly blood draws- also started swelling instantly so she backed it out.
Next they called other parts of the hospital to have an expert come in and give it a go. After about 20 minutes a nurse from the ER came and tried the outside elbow of my arm, then the top of the hand again- then another part of the hand until she spotted a good one in my thumb and one in my pointer finger. When she told the first nurse to hold my hand because it was gonna hurt, I knew that wasn't good! But it finally worked- after about 45 minutes, 6 pokes and about a pint of blood on the floor.
MRI started and finished, about 5 minutes before I was done I felt my hand getting warm, but I couldnt' tell if it was really warm or if it was just getting hot from hanging out the top of the tube over my head. When she slid me out of the machine, I said "I'm leaking!" There was blood all over my hand, all over the tube and left a trail of blood all through the tube where she had pulled me out. She started unwrapping my hand because they had taped my hand together so the good poke they had wouldn't move and BAM!! the IV needle thing shot out of my hand and back into the tube about 10 feet away! She said she had never seen anything like that before- glad I could give her some additional experience :) There was blood EVERYWHERE! All over me, the tube, the floor, the bed, EVERYWHERE! They had to put a glove on my hand so I could get dressed and not get blood all over my clothes, but ended up going into the bathroom because it wouldn't wash off with the tiny alcohol pads in the semi.
No results yet, should be a couple days but hopefully before Christmas so I don't have to wait through a long weekend! I am bruised and swollen all over my hand and arm, what a day!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Radiation

I met with the Radiation Doctor on Thursday. I'm going to have 30 treatments to the entire breast area, the last 5 of those will be pinpointed directly to the spot where the cancer is. He said I didn't need to have radiation to my armpit area to get the lymphnodes because they didn't feel there would be any increased benefit since there was only one teeny-tiny spot on one lymphnode that was bad. Also, the way the that the radiation will hit that boob, it will also reach that same area of the lymphnodes so it will get some radiation to that area.
On Tuesday the 29th, I'll go back in to get my tattoo markers. There will be 4 pin point marks tattood on my chest area that will line up the lasers. Maybe I can make a special request for a design or color of some sort, probably not....
I will have to see the doctor every Tuesday as well as a nutritionist since apparently having proper nutrition during radiation helps dramatically- whatever :) There shouldn't be any serious side-effects of the radiation, other than fatigue and skin irritation. I can't wear any bras that have underwire because it will rub on the site and make the irritation worse. I also have to wear some special deodorant that doesn't have aluminum. They said it's not the best stuff, but that's all I can wear. There's also only one certain lotion I can wear, it's like vaseline.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Last Chemo


My last Chemo was December 11th. I didn't know it was going to be until I saw the doctor. He confirmed that I'd had enough.
There is a bell in the waiting room that any time someone finishes their chemo they get to ring. There had been two others who finished before me that day before I got to ring the bell! My mom made me pause for this picture, otherwise it was a ring and run. Everyone starts clapping and yelling. I almost made it out the door until the social worker that always makes us cry stopped me and gave me a hug. She said "I bet your glad it's over, huh?" that was all I needed to start crying, Mom too. I look like a giant puffy marshmellow in the picture :)


I didn't feel well all weekend but managed to get to my friend's wedding. I saw the church ceremony and headed back home immediately after. I slept most of the weekend but made it in to work on Monday.
I'm still getting my blood drawn quite a bit as on Friday it was "off the charts"- too thin. Monday when it was checked it was better, but still a bit thin so they keep lowering my coumadin dose.
I'm so glad I'm done with chemo! Next up, radiation

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I'm back at it today! Feeling much better. A co-worker made a comment to me today that 'I was in much better spirits' today compared to yesterday, because yesterday I told her if she didn't leave me alone she was gonna end up with my fist in her nose. She was having a very UP day, and I was having a very DOWN day, and we just weren't meshing well :)
Tonight I went over to see the boys and talked to Chris and Amy about my health insurance plan changes for work for 2010. It's totally stressing me out and I thought I was gonna start bawling sitting there talking about it. Taxes, flex, deductible nearly doubling...and no end in sight for when I'm done with my chemo- an unfavorable combination!
Tomorrow we are going to Disney on Ice Finding Nemo! I think I'm just as excited about it as the boys are! I hope it's not too cold in there, my head is quite frosty these days!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Too good to be true!

I knew there was no way I was finished with chemo by their calculations. Yesterday I was scheduled for two more sessions after the one I had yesterday, which takes me to next Friday and Christmas Eve day.
While I got my chemo yesterday I cut out snowflakes for work, they were cute and the nurses all wondering what the heck I was doing.
I was pretty tired immediately after leaving the cancer center last night, came home and Amy took me to get groceries since I hadn't eaten a meal here since I got out of the hospital and had no food in the house for at least 3 weeks.
I was up pretty early today, pretty tired though.