Porta-what?

I'm writing this a while after all this actually took place. My dear pal Jody had asked me one time about my porta-cath. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about, I think I made her repeat it 5 times, I thought she was talking about my Mom, Kath.
I went to work the morning I was getting the port 'installed.' I couldn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before, it was really hard not to make my morning stop by the kum and go for a giant Dt. Mt. Dew! I think my car naturally pulls that direction.
I got all checked in and Mom and I went to Same Day Surgery. They told me to wear a bra that was typical of the style I usually wear, the surgeon would mark my skin around the bra so it wouldn't rub on the port. It was pretty quick, I was starving as we waited!
They came to take me for surgery and I got a little panicked- maybe it's the hairnet, it's not flattering at all. I was worried about being awake for the surgery, they said they would just give me a little something to calm me down and that most people talk through the whole thing but they don't remember it at all, but that I wouldn't say anything that I wouldn't normally say- that doesn't go too far.
I talked to the anesthesiologist the entire time while we were getting ready. I told her about my recent promotion at work, she was from Correctionville so we talked about that for a while. She asked how my work was accommodating my crazy schedule with the appts, which they have been totally awesome! When the doctor came in, we just carried on conversation the entire time. I had told the nurse about the book I planned on writing, "Are You F*n Kidding Me?" They thought it was hilarious, Dr. Volz said he would buy a copy. And then proceeded to say the title of the book over and over, which was kinda funny but a little scarey considering he was laughing, with a scalpal in his hand! It was good conversation and I'm not sure if its ok to say I had fun? I felt it a few times, mainly when they threaded the catheter over the collarbone and towards my heart. But nothing too bad. When it was all over, Dr. Volz said he was going to talk to my mom.
I was a little sore that night but didn't have too many problems. Steph came over that night and I was trying to find something to wear to cover the giant gauze pads that were on my neck and chest. I had tried on several things but I was very self concious of it showing in all of them. That night I went to bed and about 45 minutes later, the door bell rang. It was nearly 11 Pm, Kim got up and answered the door, no one was there but a bag of clothes and a note from "The Cancer Fairey". Steph had gone and bought me two scarves and matching tops so my patches didn't show. Tear!...
The next day I went to work because we were meeting with insurance companies who had put in bids for us to renew our contract with them. I really wanted to be there for that, and no one told me I couldn't work or what kind of recovery would be involved. I was sitting in the meeting across from my boss and soon-to-be boss. I was really starting to feel bad, hot, sore and just miserable. After the meeting my boss asked me if I needed to go home and I just said YES and Tiffney drove me home.
It took quite a while to heal up, I could feel it when I talked, coughed, laughed, turned my head, rolled over in bed, all the time. I hated it!
When I returned to the surgeon for my week check up I was very clear about how I felt about the stupid thing. He kept telling me that some day I'll like it. When he said that I said something like "whatever, I guess if I have to have it..." and he responded by telling me that I'd gone from really sad to just crabby! I think we were spending way to much time together! :)