Monday, May 4, 2009

D- Day

We were interviewing candidates for my boss' position as the VP of HR. I had been involved in the process from the beginning, trying to keep everything pretty low key, so I was the only one directly from the HR dept. who even knew who was being interviewed and was asked to help with the entire process. I was sitting in on 8 hours of interviews with the management team, so I had a full day planned, and didn't have time to get breast cancer.
We had lunch delivered and had about an hour to spare as we wrapped up the morning interviews a little early. I went up to my office and checked my phone. I had just missed the call. I shut my office door and returned her call. Dr. Bashori got on the line right away.
She told me that she had gotten the results back from the biopsy and she was sending them to Dr. Volz office. She asked if she could set up an appt for me to visit with him about the results of the test and when would I be available. She said he would be able to see me yet this afternoon. I told her that I was busy the rest of the day but tomorrow would work. I asked her what the results of the test were, she hesitated and said that she didn't feel comfortable discussing it over the phone and that Dr. Volz would see me tomorrow and she would also welcome me back to her clinic to answer any questions I had. I pushed her further asking for what the lump was- I asked if I had breast cancer. She said yes. 12:15 pm May 4th, 2009- everything from here out would change. Even writing this out, after all the this time has passed, it still haunts me. I can hear the words yet and my heart races.
She told me that its extremely rare, which was the hold up on getting the results back. They wanted to be absolutely sure.
I got off the phone with her and called my mom at work. I don't really remember what I said, other than I told her that I had breast cancer. I called my sister and then called Tiffney, who I work with to come to my office and I had gotten the results back. She came down to my office within minutes and we shut the door and I just cried for what seems like forever. I couldn't beleive it, I still can't. But I had to collect myself and get ready to go downstairs and finish the interviews.
I stopped in Barb's office- my sidekick at work and told her. Even she teared up and I sat in her office and cried some more. I don't cry in front of people, especially at work but I couldn't stop! Then Mark and Roger that I work with came in and saw both Barb and I all tearey- eyed and I had to start telling people my recent news. I explained that I didn't know much, but that it was cancer. I'd be meeting with the surgeon in the morning.
Chris and Amy were in Chicago and mom and I were watching the boys since the previous weekend. When I got to their house that night, mom had already picked up the boys and Steph and Kim were there waiting for me. I didn't want to go in the house- I just sat in the car for a minute and cried before I went in. It was all downhill for the night at that point. Amy called that night after she heard the news and said that she was coming home. She said she was bored, but I'm pretty sure she didn't want to leave me there with the boys with everything going on.

No comments:

Post a Comment