Surgery Scheduled

Soooo...Good news! I'm scheduled for phase 1 of my reconstruction on Tues August 10th! I wasn't expecting them to do it so soon, so it was a nice surprise. I met with plastic surgeon again today, they said I could do it at the time I'm scheduled or not till later this fall. Given some situations going on at work, it was better for me to get this process started now.
They will put in the tissue expanders, and use some back fat and such to build the boob over what will be the implant. So I will actually leave the hospital with some boob- then will gradually inflate the tissue expanders to the size that I want...TBD :)
He said to plan on being off for about 3 weeks but has had very good luck with recent surgeries like this that he's done recently, some ready to go home after a day or so- but to plan on about 3 days in the hospital. I'll be at the Siouxland Surgery Center.
I have to get a physical and be cleared by my oncologist, who, luck would have it- is out of the country until August 4th. Thankfully the nurse double-booked him to fit me in that Thursday. If he doesn't give me approval for the surgery this time, it could get ugly!! I was pretty devastated in April when they told me I had to wait.
So excited!

Finished! For real this time!

I had my last radiation on Thursday! I'm completely finished, other than a skin check in 2 weeks and they're also checking my arms for swelling at that time. Dr even said that I really tried to drag this out as long as possible :)
I actually showed up on Tuesday thinking it was my last treatment, but this was not correct. They just didn't schedule my last two treatments originally. I had to go in on Thursday at 7:40 am, I asked the girl if it was because on my last day they had coffee and donuts for me? She just said "no, i think there was a scheduling conflict" REALLY?? She was new, she didn't get me yet...
They stopped radiating my chest wall that day because when I was in on Friday, the tech said I had some serious blisters in my armpit. I had no idea because I have no feeling under my arms and on my chest yet from the surgery- all nerves are dead yet. So they stopped doing that area that was giving me the blisters in my armpits and gave me some solution to "soak" my armpit in. That was complicated... but it worked, just two days later they said it looked much better.
All the girls working when I left wanted hugs- I got my free tshirt- and I did NOT ring the bell. I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious and last time I rang that damn bell it didn't get me too far...maybe at my 5 year check up.
I had labs on Friday and as I was sitting there waiting for the physical in the lobby a lady came out of what must have been her last treatment of radiation- she looked not much older than me, I'm not sure where she's been hiding the last year- I swear I know everyone in town with cancer. But when she came out in the lobby her family and friends were there and all started cheering for her and had flowers for her, then she rang the bell. Not a dry eye in the place! It was very cool...
So from here, I'm anxiously waiting for my new boobies surgery- which they said would be in 3 months but I can not wait! I'm planning on doing it around Sept 20th because Amanda and I are running the 5K in Sioux City on the 18th and it might be nice to not have boobs hitting me in the face while I run (because that's the real reason I don't run). So I'm working on getting in shape for that. Spending a lot of time on the elliptical and just got a new bike last week. Chris and I just got back from a 7-ish mile ride. Now we're going to the bar :) Have a good weekend!

I'm a little embarassed it's been nearly 2 months since I've written anything! My millions of fans are asking for more! :)
A lot has happened, I last wrote. I started radiation on 2/28. I do that everyday at 8 am. It takes about 15 minutes from start to finish (assuming they aren't already behind schedule). So it's more of a hassel than anything. Just this week I started getting a rash and showing some burns on my skin. I woke up with it Wednesday morning and it's driving me crazy! It itches pretty bad if something brushes against it, otherwise not too bad. Good news is I'll be done with radiation on June 1. Normally they would have made me wait for a month after my last chemo before starting radiation because the drugs are still in my system and they make me 'extra sensitized" to burn and rash but I pleaded them to let me start early. Amanda's wedding is 6-19 and i really don't want any burn marks yet by then!
I have to see the doctor every Monday, he told me this past week that he thougth I'd be a really red and burned already by that time, and luckily I wasn't even the slightest bit pink, so I was pretty happy.
Other good news, my hair is starting to grow back! Just in the last week, it seems to be sprouting up all over the place! I can still see my scalp, so won't be going without a hat for a while, but I'm glad it's started! I was a bit nervous when it first started growing and it was only in patches, I thought I could be bald the rest of my life.
I did have an ultrasound on the swelling that I still have on my left side mid-April. It showed nothing other than fluid- so that's good news! The swelling I still had in December is what showed that the cancer was back, so that was exceptionally good news to confirm that there was no cancer left!
Other big things...We had Amanda's bachelorette party last weekend. That was nuts! I got a wig to wear out, that itself was pretty scarey. I was horribly afraid I would have too many drinks and take it off somewhere inappropriate! Well, I did have too many drinks but the wig didn't come off :) Until later in the hotel, and everyone tried it on, but none of us remembered that. Penguin had the pictures on her phone to prove it- otherwise, wouldn't have a clue. Good times! Too old to be doing this :)
I'm also going to start seeing a nutritionist because I totally broke down bawling at my appt on Friday. I've been busting my ass on the elliptical, doing weight watchers and otherwise starving myself...I lost 2 pounds by Monday when I weighed in, when I went on Friday, I had GAINED 3 pounds! My doctor said all the weight I gained would "melt off"...well, it's not and I'm totally freaking out about it. It was probably the Coney Island I had Friday for lunch, but aside from that, it's very stressing! I had to buy a whole new wardrobe this winter because none of my clothes fit me, now- come spring and summer-again, none of my clothes fit me and I need to buy a whole nother set of clothes for summer! I really used to enjoy shopping, but not so much anymore. The gowns that I wear for radiation are ginormous, the arm holes itself I can fit my body through, and they wrap around me twice...I really wish I could wear one of these all day, everyday. We'll see how that goes.
Still looking forward to running the Cancer Center's 5K in September!
Friday morning I saw a lady that my mom knows who was there for her treatment. She was so excited for me that I'll be done with radiation June 1st. She has had I think she said 26 rounds of chemo since Christmas and no end in sight. I started to feel guilty and didn't know what to say to her. She's already had more chemo than I did in 1 year, just in 6 months and she has no idea when she will be done. She said she knows someone else who had the same kind of lung cancer (for all the smokers in the house) who has been getting chemo for years and will never be done. buh.... couldn't imagine that
Debbie Downer signing out!

Last One! Cross your fingers!

Today was my last day of Chemo! Although, I decided I would not be ringing that bell this time, I think it jinxed me last time. It was just two weeks later I found out the cancer had indeed...returned. I have been quite swelled up on the left side this week and last week, I thought it was all the ham I ate for Easter but it's not going away. :) When Dr. DB was feeling it he said he didn't think it was cancer, and I was quick to remind him that no one thought it was cancer last time either, and look at me now! So I have an ultrasound on Wednesday next week to see what it is, Dr thinks its just some extra fluid that needs to be sucked out.
There was no one else in the chemo room with me today, I totally fell asleep and I think my mom did too since she got to sit in one of the comphy chairs since there was no one else there.
I'll have blood draws every week to monitor my blood counts for a month or so, and I should be seeing the radiologist in the next couple weeks. Doc said I can start my radiation in 2 weeks since I've done reasonably well through the entire series of chemo. No barfing and blood counts have stayed high enough that I didn't need any neulasta shots or transfusions or anything.

On another note...we registered Theresa's Troops for the Susan G Komen walk on May 6th. Go to this link to register to walk with our team! https://secure.info-komen.org/site/TRR/1215885226
We can not wear any of the pink shirts we had made, they are reserving the color pink for only survivors to wear that day. So we may need to order a batch of black ones for those that want them, they are $10 ea.

And yet another note. I just want to publicly say THANKS! to anyone from work who may be reading this. Everyone has been so supportive throughout the last year, especially this final push! They wore their theresa's tshirts every Thursday before I had chemo and had several gatherings (mainly involving food) to wish me well. I got fresh baked cookies on more than one occasion, and had lots of my coworkers picking up the slack with my being gone so much. There was also a lot of things that didn't get done, becuase there's only so many hours in a day- and for those on the other end of that, thanks for putting up with me! The girls in my department played a huge part in helping prepare and publicize for the fundraisers. I am so fortunate to have such great friends to keep me going, because you were the ones who had to listen to me everyday, and you're the ones that kept me going!

Set back

So yesterday while I was laying around, not being at work, I thought I should call my plastic surgeon and get things scheduled! I talked to the nurse and explained where I was in my chemo and she asked me a few questions and said she was scheduling a surgery day for that doctor on April 13th but she just wanted to talk to the doctor real quick to make sure I was good to go and be scheduled.
The nurse called me back at 5 pm and said we're a "no go" on the surgery any time soon. She said his notes were very vague as to what procedure I was going to have, which he said was because I didn't really know at the time- but had taken his advice for what he thought would look best, and have the best overall outcome.
Now, the plan is that after I finish chemo AND radiation- 3 months after that...I can get my tissue expanders put in. I was crushed, I think I bawled most of the night. I'm anxious to get my life back and at least appear somewhat normal. Nothing like walking through a store and seeing the eyes go from your face to your blank chest- no exaggeration either. So tentatively we are looking at end of summer/ early fall to start the process.
I had another follow up with my regular sugeon today. I got the OK to quit doing PT! I try, I really did but it really sucks! It's more so inconvenient than anything and more appointments outside of work which is the real issue. I do have a blast with her and I'll miss our chats, but I'm starting to think that's not the point of PT. :)

Round 3!

Only one more! Mom and I went to eat afterwards, as we always do! And then did a little shopping. I'm hoping to plant a garden or patio veggies this summer so we were looking at plants and soil, organic of course! Also hoping to plant some flowers and stuff in front of the house that looks horrible right now, and has since we moved in. The shrubs are overgrown, partially dead, and just disgusting! I hope to pull them all out and plant new stuff out there, we'lll see. I have a lot of energy in my mind, but my body-not so much.
I bought a new juicer! Yay so I can drink my veggies! I'm super excited to use it, I bought a bunch of veggies and fruit from Whole Foods last weekend so that's the plan for tomorrow- maybe it will get me out of this chemo funk.
As soon as we got home, I crashed on the couch for about a half hour until my mom left. She had some stuff she had to do tonight apparently and I haven't been getting sick, so hopefully it doesn't start tonight.
Way past my bedtime!

So much to update!

I ended up staying home Monday following my last treatment, by Sunday I could hardly get out of bed! I was just wiped out. That was kind of a shitty week, Tuesday I noticed my collar was filling up with hair, by the handfulls. I was pulling it off my shirt by the handfulls. By Thursday the hair on my head like wasn't even attached. Kim offered to comb it out for me and just get rid of all the stuff that was not attached. As she combed I could hear her start crying, so I did too. It left me with a giant bald spot on the back of my head. I told her to just keep going- it wasn't going to stay, so why prolong it? I feel like I just got the hair cleaned up from last summer when it thinned out!
So Friday was the first day I had to wear a hat to work. That kinda sucked but I went in super early and parked in the back parking lot to avoid as many people as possible. I stayed in my office most of the day, but had to eventually start facing people! I had a Scentsy party that night at my friend Tiffney's house, that worked out perfectly so I didn't go home for the weekend and feel sorry for myself.
Saturday Janna and I took an impromptu trip to Omaha looking for a recliner to get ready for my next surgery! YAY! I'll be back to sleeping in the recliner and the one that I got from my Grandma before my last surgery, I have completely broken, pulled, sprung springs and warped it so the feet don't even go down anylonger. It had had it's fair usage before it got to me, and it just so happened she was getting a new one so I was able to take this one from her just in time for my recovery at home. I ended up sleeping in it for about 5 weeks once I got home.
This next surgery I'm told is going to be a doozie. They cut through the chest muscles to place the spacer bags behind the muscles in my chest. Then, over a few weeks they fill them with saline until they are as big as I want them. My mother and I are in debates on how big they should be :) I kinda liked the boobs I had before, cancer and all aside, they were a nice size so I'd like to return back to that size-which according to my plastic surgeon was quite large, who knew? When he gave me the implants to hold in my hand they were crazy huge, but a lot of it gets displaced back under the armpit and around my chest area, they won't all just sit in a mound on top of each other.
So, back to the story- Janna and I went to Omaha looking for a chair and other things as part of my retail therapy :) We had a blast! I was feeling awesome and it was enough to keep me motivated at work all week-because that pretty much sucked. I was exhausted yet after sleeping at least 10 hours each night and drinking the wheatgrass and all.
Finn stayed overnight with me on Wednesday. It gave me an excuse to go to bed at 8 pm with him. We had a good time! When he was in the bathroom I went in my room to find a warmer hat because I am freezing all the time now and Finn said "Theresa, where did your hair go?" Oh my gosh it about broke my heart! So I told him that it fell out for a little while, but it will grow back soon. But then he asked me why it all fell out, so I told him I was sick and had to take some medicine that made my hair fall out, but it will make me not sick anymore. I don't know what to say to the kid! Come on Chris and Amy! :) I didn't want to scare him but I didn't want to lie to him. He wanted to touch my head so I let him, he just smiled- what a doll! He asked about it again in the morning when I was getting ready for work, so I told him the same thing again. Then Amy came to pick him up and he started crying and threw a little fit- I think he thought it was Saturday and he was going to hang out with me all day- instead he had to go to the Dr and then to daycare, boooooo!
Thurs, March 25 the greatest band in the world, STP came to Sioux City. So Penguin came down for that and we met up with Toni and Oto, and Chris and his entourage from work and college. Pretty amazing! So awesome, apparently they don't do Make A Wish for adults, or I would have been all over that! Backstage? Better yet, take me with you! Permanently, I'd make a great groupie!

2nd round

I got my second dose of Adria Friday. Saw a doctor I normally don't- who was very impressed that I still have all my hair! He said "is that your hair?" I was like, yeah- this isn't what I'd chose if it wasn't! He said maybe, just maybe I'll be in the 0.01% of those who don't lose their hair! I figure, hey- I'm already half done, if it doesn't fall out this week-I'd feel safe betting that I won't lose it. It took months for it to thin out when I started my first chemo regimin. It was two months in (6 treatments) before I noticed thinning. I know this is the "mammajamma" of chemo meds, but I'm not puking like they said I would! Maybe I'm an anamolly in that regards too, not just the bad stuff!

I'm feeling very tired- its unexplainable. This is the best I've felt in two days and updating my blog isn't the most energetic thing in the world. I haven't yet decided yet if
I'll make it in to work tomorrow. Hard to tell how I'll be feeling by then.

I did receive my wheatgrass juicer! Yay! Now I'll start mass producing it and shoving it on everyone I know! I actually think I might be ready to up my daily dose, seems the one ounce per day isn't cutting it anymore. These are the pictures from the first (and only) tray I grew in January.

Fundraiser

I was incredibly nervous leading up to this, I thought it would be embarassing and awkward, but it wasn't at all. I got to see friends and family who came from near and far and only gave way to a few tears!
There was another wave of donated items for raffle, amazing stuff! And the lucky winner of the weekend trip to Storm Lake water park was Jeff Crick- I have an idea who will be using those passes! :) Jolee, who was so sweet and donated all the popcorn at the trivia night out of her own money!
I ended up spending the night in Moville as well as the rest of the weekend, but by the end of Friday night, I was spent.
I can't say Thank you enough to Janna, her family, all the raffle donors and those who were able to make it to the soup dinner, it was amazing and touching!

Slacker

So I've been slacking- right when things were getting interesting apparently! It's a No-Go on the boobs, for now at least. New plan is that once I finish chemo, I'll have phase 1 of my reconstruction done before I start radiation. Then when I'm done with radiation, they'll do the rest. ETA of the boobs, I'm hoping is late spring/early summer. So sad...
I had my first round of chemo on Feb 26th. It was awesome! So maybe not awesome, but it went better than expected. I was a bit high-strung however. When mom picked me up she was wearing her Theresa's Troops tshirt and I yelled "you're wearing your shirt??" and totally bawled the whole way there. She thought I'd be happy- but I assured her nothing would make me happy that day.
They injected 2 big turkey-basters of red medicine in me along with some stuff to calm me down. Dr Doodlebop asked me how I was doing and I told him horrible, that I'd had a bad day up to that point. So he asked me what happened? I said "THIS!!" and waived my arms frantically all around the room. I think he got my drift because he all but sedated me when I started my chemo. He however did tell me that it's possible I won't lose my hair, since they are only giving me one drug. Yay! It's just now getting really thick again. He did tell me to expect to get sick from the chemo although he was giving me everything he had to prevent it, most people still get sick. When we got home I slept for 3 hours and went to bed early. Saturday morning I woke up still feeling really good. Didn't do anythig but lay around to try to keep nausea away at the advice of my nurse and kept taking antinausea pills. Mom left around 5 pm on Saturday since it seemed I was doing good. I went to bed when she left and didn't wake up until 8 am Sunday- still feeling good! My body was really tired, just exhaused like I had run a marathon on Monday, so I went in about an hour late but worked the full day. I'm glad I did because I seemed to snap out of my morning funk later that day.

I got an unexpected call today! My plastic surgeon (who Dr D was going to contact to keep in the loop of what I was doing) called and was in his office in town, he's from Sioux Falls. I'm going to get my new boobies sooner than I thought!
There's lots of different options of ways to get the reconstruction done- WOW, I had no idea. I'm chosing the fastest, least painful procedure :)
Apparently I can't get the expanders after radiation because the skin on the radiated area will be too tight and would press against my ribs- SO I have to get them in before radiation then will have another surgery after the radiation to wrap things up. It could happen as soon as next week! Yay! Not so sure I want to have another surgery again, but he said the recovery would be similar to the mastectomy- which I'm still trying to get my arm to extend and taking pain pills!
He was going to contact my oncologist about possibly doing this next week, which would push back my chemo OR I could do it after chemo, before radiation but that could extend the radiation out longer because of the recovery.
Mom doesn't think I need big ones, I think I do! I told her she has boobs so she doesn't get a say in it! Will know more tomorrow! YAY!

Today I saw my surgeon again, the petscan showed the 13 cm seroma, my oncologist thought might be able to be sucked out. He did a ultrasound and thought something might be able to come out- but first stick and second stick with the long, scarey needle brought out nothing. I didn't feel the first stick but the second I sure did! I asked if he'd put me out before we did this but he said if he has to stay awake I do too. So, sounds like I'll have an A-cup of swelling for quite a while since it won't suck out.
On Monday, all my lady co-workers wore their Theresa's Troops tshirts. I kept it together till about 10 am when dear Ranae came in and hugged me and asked me how I was doing, for real-and I just started crying...that tends to happen a lot! :)
All for now...

Clean Petscan/CT...but...

Still gotta have chemo. I'm having 4 rounds of adria (the stuff all horror stories are about) two weeks apart for a total of 8 weeks. Then I will have radiation for 6 weeks, then I should be able to start reconstruction and get my new boobies! One thing to look forward to!
He said I will definitely lose my hair, but I can use a fashionable scarf he said. I'll need to take extra precautions because my white blood cell count will drop and that it makes most people very sick. I'm a little concerned what to do about work and Amanda's wedding!
He asked when I wanted to start, I said definitely not next week, I have too much going on. I'll have another mugascan of my heart just to be sure everything is ok to start more chemo, after the last chemo I had.
The scan did show I have a 12 cm seroma on the left side; he was gonna call my surgeon about possibly sucking it out.

Back to work

I went back to work on Tuesday 2-2-10. I had a lot of appointments this week and needed Friday off for my petscan so I thought that would be a good transition to ease in to working full days.
Tuesday I worked a full day. Tiffney picked me up because I'm not driving yet. I tried to make a quiet entrance in the back door, until I saw my hallway had been decorated with a WELCOME BACK THERESA banner and about 60 balloons!
Wednesday morning I had physical therapy. Much easier this week- she mainly did a lot of massaging my muscles and stretched them for me. Feels like there's tight little rubber bands in there, they stretch just a little and want to snap back! My physical therapist is going to start coming to my house on days other than Wednesdays just because she can't do private practice more than one day a week in her office and she thinks (and I do too) that I could benefit from seeing her more than just once per week. So next Friday she's coming here at 8 am to stretch me.
Wednesday I had an eye appt, 2 year follow up on my lasik eye surgery- what a waste, I will not be attending my 3 year follow up.
Friday I had my petscan. Got there before 830 for my labs, was supposed to have a nurse eval and then check in for my petscan at 945. Well, 945 came before my nurse eval did and they ended up doing my petscan before my nurse eval- I don't know what the problem was. So while I was sitting in the supply closet again 'resting' I could hear who they were paiging for medical oncology and I never did hear my name. When I got out of the petscan after noon, I still had to sit and wait for my nurse eval, i was less than thrilled- pretty honked off.
When I got in for my nurse eval, it was a nurse I'd never had before. I was reading the computer screen as she was going thru my meds and my labs and saw "Adria" listed as a med under my previous chemo drugs. I instantly thought I was going to start balling but was able to choke back the tears until I got to the car. This is the drug that all horror stories of chemotherapy are about- knock down, drag out, nasty side effects. I told my mom what I had seen and couldn't stop crying- I'm horrified to go through any of it again, let alone that. It's my mom's birthday so I felt bad ruining her day, but I couldn't help it!
I was exhausted tired when we got home so took a nice long nap...

I've been trying to sleep in my own bed instead of the recliner, it's not going well. My right arm isn't hurting hardly at all, but I still can't sleep on it. Laying on my left arm is out of the question. I went into my bed last night around midnight and did more tossing and turning, propping pillows here and there to try and get comfortable.
I'm getting ready to go back to work tomorrow, a bit nervous about that. I feel like the last time saw everyone I was 'bragging' that I was done with chemo and now the cancer is back, and it's bigger and badder than it originally was.
I still have a lot of swelling in my left side- the burning under my arm isn't going away, it's been a week on Lyrica for it but it doesn't seem to be doing anything.

Retail Therapy

Did a little shopping today with Amy. I've been looking through my closet to find clothes that are comfortable and still fit right. The idea being to find things that distract from the point that I don't have boobs. Got a couple shirts and pants. We stopped and picked up dinner and took it home to Chris and the boys before coming home and took a long hot bath.
Dr put me on steroids for 2 days to help with the pain I still have- I don't know what that's going to do but whatever. As soon as they said steroids I imagined I'll be gaining another 20 pounds. I just got off those stupid things! They keep me up all night and my skin is bright read and I run a low fever. I hate how I feel when I have to take them. Good night!

Big Day!

So today was a big day! I had two appointments; one with the radiologist dr and one with physical therapist.
Morning started out rough- I usually take my pain pills a while before I ever attempt to get out of the recliner I've been sleeping in, but this morning there was no time for that. I was hard enough to even wake up! I've been sleeping 12-14 hours each night and then napping again in the afternoon.
First stop of the day was to the cancer center, to the radiation Dr- he said again that he was shocked that the MRI turned out to be cancer again. Nothing really changed on what he plans to do concerning radiation, except for that he will be radiating my neck/shoulder area to get the lymphnode area, given the cancer was so extensive although the lymph nodes were clear. Holding off on any actual plans until the results of the PETscan are back, which won't be for another few weeks.
This afternoon I met with my physical therapist for the first time. Apparently my surgeon thinks its bad that I refuse to use my left arm and just sit in the recliner packed with pillows all day long. She had me in tears within minutes of doing any treatment on me. She did a lot of measuring of how far I could move my arms in several different directions, then followed with a massage to the surgical sight, my armpit and the entire shoulder area- that killed! It was horrible!
She sent me home with homework since she only is at the office one day a week, I have a lot of healing to do on my own. She sent me to a home medical supply store to get a pully thing that goes into the top of a closed door and I pull one arm up and then pull the other up. I do that as well as the massage and also lay flat on my back in my bed, all for 5 minutes three times a day.
I'm really itching to get back to work. I'm so bored sitting here all day, I need some human contact! Hopefully if this weekend goes well, I can get back there on Monday, might start doing half days, we'll see when the time comes, day by day.
Mentally, I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would considering the initial shock of the news. Before surgery I had researched the surgery online to know what I was getting into. I saw pictures and read all the advice those who have blazed this trail before me had to give. I think that helped the shock factor- every once in a while it gets me, but right now I need to concentrate on getting better!
I hope this clears up some questions those of you who received an email from my mom! I'm fine! Nothing new today! :)

drains are out!

Went back to the surgeon today and he took out my last two drains! Hurt a bit more this time. Dr gave me another Rx to help with the burning pain in my left arm, said its pretty common that your nerve endings go crazy once they've all been cut and mangled.
When I got home my sister and her kids were here with my little Collin- so got to see everyone for a while. Finn came over later and we ordered pizza for supper.
I'm going to be starting physical therapy soon to get my arms and shoulders moving again. He wanted to know if I was ready to go back to work or what my thoughts were on that. I'm a bit scared to go back with the pain I still have in chest and arms. I'm still steadily taking my pain pills so don't want to go back quite yet because they make me so tired and I'll probably do something stupid :) He told me I can go back when my pain is under control and I'm not sleeping so much- I'm shooting for Monday 2-1-10. Feels good to get those drains out!

Still recovering at home. Took the compression wrap off and saw the scars this week. Not as basas I expected but still not pretty. I had 9 lunch guests earlier this week- most of my department from work brought me lunch! It was fun, good to see everyone again.
I was supposed to have my other two drains removed yesterday, but thanks to the ice storm we had the night before, I'll be toting these drains around until Monday!
My friend Janna has been working on a fundraiser(s) to cover my medical expenses- I am overwhelmed with the amount of support and help she has received from everyone!

This morning I saw my oncologist again, first time since surgery. My blood levels were a bit low, but I don't have to go to the hospital for anymore shots!
He isn't completely sure if I'll have chemo again, but it's sounding like that's where Im headed. I'm seeing the radiation oncologist on the 27th and will have another PET scan in a couple weeks. The swelling in my breast area needs to go down first before they do that scan, otherwise it will show all the swelling as possible cancer. The last scan was really cool, I looked like a skinned pig- I wonder if I can get a copy of it...and post it here! :)
Tiffney from work came over yesterday on her lunch break. Sounds like next week everyone from work is coming over and having lunch with me. I'm excited! I miss everyone! It will be a couple weeks yet before I go back to work- looking forward to it!

10 Days Out

Today I returned to the surgeon to get my drains out. I'm still getting a lot of drainage so I wasn't sure if they would actually take them out. Turns out he only took one, which I was ok with because it was the most painful one. On the way to the appionement, my mom told me that one of her friends who had a drain said it felt like ' they were pulling his balls out' when his drain was removed.
So when my doctor started getting ready to take mine out, he stood in between me and my mom so I couldn't see her face, but it didn't hurt at all. When I saw her I started laughing and he made a comment that it sounds worse than it actually is to get them removed. So I told him what my mom had said about her friend. He said that if he pulled my balls out, my case would be a lot more complicated.
Since I'm still hurting a lot, especially in my arms, he recommended adding Advil to my painpills to help and see how that does.
The boys have been coming to see me about every other day. Makes me feel better to see them! Just sad I can't hug and squeeze them!

Update part 2

More catching up to do...
While in the hospital my blood counts went really low and they ended up giving me three units of blood. They starved me for a couple days because they weren't sure if I was going to have to have more surgery to clean up this large hematoma I have that seems to be pooling up all my blood.
It was really cold the entire week and towards the end of the week it was blizzarding so that kind of took care of most of my visitors. That's ok- most days I wasn't up for many visitors anyway.
All the nurses I had were great, they took really good care of me and my mom the entire week. My overnight stay turned in to 5 days since I wasn't released till Saturday.
All week I've been going to the hospital to get blood thinner shots twice a day- that got really old! My mom went back to work so my grandma came over to stay with me until I'm up and going- or she gets tired of me, whichever comes first.

Recovering at home

I had surgery on Monday 1-4-09. They weren't 100% sure it was cancer until they got the lab report back, and sure enough, it was. Showed one tumor to be 5.5 cm, which is bigger than the first that I had removed in May. They also removed 4 lymphnodes which all turned out to be clean, as well as the right boob- which was removed as a preventative measure.
It was supposed to be an overnight stay, but in True-Theresa Fashion, I stayed until Saturday. My blood levels were very low and ended up having 3 bags of blood in the first few days following the surgery. They weren't sure if I was bleeding too much inside from the surgery so they were starving me for a few days while they waited it out to see if I needed additional surgery.
The first night after my surgery, I had been up a couple times witht the nurse walking and getting to the bathroom. So when I needed to use the facilities again that night I told mom she could just take me as it was only a few steps away. I remember sitting on the toilet and mom was right outside the door. I remember looking down at my flat chest wrapped in gauze and compression dressings and thinking "oh my god, I had a mastectomy today" that's all I remember until I woke up in my bed with several nurses all around me. I had passed out stone cold, going head first into the shower. My mom had seen me starting to fall and screamed for some help and they came in and picked me up and bought my bed to me. I vaguely remember my mom telling me to pull the help-cord in the bathroom as I was heading down. She said my eyes were huge with nothing but pupils and whites around them.
I didn't know before that you use your boobs to type. Getting sore now, I'll write more later!

Today I met Lori, who is a breast cancer survivor I've been emailing with for a few months. She's a sister in law of a friend at work. We've never actually met until today. She said she had a few things I might be able to use after my surgery. I got the chance to ask her all sorts of questions and compare stories. She's the first and only person I've been able to talk to through all of this. She set my mind at ease as she is a very strong lady.
I'm getting really nervous, having second thoughts if I'm doing the right thing. I've been very aware of every boob I see on tv as well as my own boobs, wondering what things will look like when they are gone- basically the physical changes is what scares the hell out of me. I don't want big nasty scars! I have enough of those already!